2012-09-08

I Robot Wallet


For the last several years I have subscribed to a health newsletter. 

It's moderately informative.  I have learned some things, but too much of it is should be common knowledge.  But it is entertaining enough that I renewed and have enjoyed it for three years now.

As with most magazines, they start sending out renewal notices before your subscription starts.  That actually did happen to me once.  I subscribed to some magazine and got a renewal notice before I got the first issue.  I make it a point to not renew ahead of time unless they make a really good offer.  In fact for most magazines I don't renew at all, let the subscription run out, and start a new one which often gets me the lowest price and some goody (like a travel alarm clock that will work for 3 months before blowing its brains out).

I started this non renewal policy years ago when I found some magazine wanted me to renew at a price that was more than a new subscriber got and they were enticing the new subscriber that goody.  Talk about feeling screwed!  I was a customer known to want their product.  They could get my money and not incur the cost of setting up a new account.  I had already paid so they have confidence I would not stiff them.  And my reward?  Treat me as the scum on the sole of your shoe?

Now there are damn few publications that I need so badly or enjoy so much that I can't survive (although I supposed a health newsletter might fall into that category) if I miss an issue or two so this policy of letting the subscription lapse and then starting it again has worked well enough for me.

One of the things I have done in recent years is to respond to the renewal notice with a counter offer.  That is of course if the reply envelope is post paid.  I write on the renewal form the amount that I'm willing to pay and send it back.  Surprisingly that actually worked once.  Maybe twice.

But back to my health newsletter.  I have probably gotten six to eight notices at this point.  I have written a counter offer on each one of them and sent them off.  As is typical, I get another offer some where down the  road and it's obvious that whoever opened the previous one promptly tossed it in the trash.  And as you might expect I continued to receive notices that were the last notice, the last last notice, the last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last notice etc. 

Finally the last issue came and in huge bold letters I am informed You have read you final Issue.  Now that isn't true as this is the front cover so I see this before I have even opened it.  If they had put this at the end, the back inside cover, I wouldn't have been so irritated.

Well I read that final issue and figured that was the end of it.

But no.

Today I get another notice.  As I have already received the last final notices I guess this one is the post-apocalyptic notice.




The notice includes the statement that they haven't heard from me.





Is it possible that every reply I have sent has been mis-handled by the Post Office? 

My Reply?


Lie.  I have responded to every NOTICE.  I am willing to renew either 1 yr @ $19 or 2 yrs at $35.  Send an invoice for either or both of those rates and I will renew.

Now you might think I'm being ridiculous.  That I'm asking for a discount way to steep.  And truthfully I would go up to $20 or maybe even $21 if they made a counter offer in that range.  But this consumer organization is just as rapacious as any other organization that assumes they can jack up their prices and  enough people will just blindly write a check. 

The first year I subscribed, the price was $15.  Then I renewed for two years for $39.  That's $19.5 / year.  That is also a 30% increase in price.  This renewal notice is for $24.  That is a 19% increase.  Over the course of my three year subscription, they have increased the price an average of 20% / year.  This from a consumer organization?  No thanks.  

Does anyone want to place a wager that not only do I not get a response from my response but I get at least one more renewal offer as if I had never responded?

I was intrigued by the last paragraph in the notice




It sort of looks like Jamie is saying they know I have responded although I have never written anything other than a counter offer similar to this one.   And if Jamie is thanking me for a previous response, why the "Unfortunately, we have not heard from you" further up?  Is Jamie asking me to provide feedback?  If so, perhaps Jamie could tell me how to do that.  Maybe a form on their web site.  Perhaps an email address.  If I was so healthy that I could beam my thoughts to Jamie I wouldn't need this newsletter and would beam that message to her.

This from the organization that wails if a manufacturer or merchant doesn't kiss your ass when you contact them.  I guess Consumer Reports' left hand doesn't know what the other left hand is doing.  I can't say that their customer service is any worse than typical.  But it is kind of like Al Gore lecturing me on carbon footprints when he pollutes more in a year than I probably will in my lifetime.

Oh, in the meantime I have subscribed to the Mayo Clinic newsletter.  It's written for adults and is a tiny bit cheaper.  Take a look at http://healthletter.mayoclinic.com/.